Musings on the Concept of Respect in the Martial Arts
Much is made, in both mainstream martial arts and in historical fencing, of etiquette and the rituals of respect. Touching gloves, bowing, the salute with the sword and so forth are commonplace in various martial arts, but sadly they are too often nothing more than empty rituals.
I have personally witnessed an individual taking an excessive time over bowing onto the mats ‘just so’ before behaving in a manner that can only be described as bullying and thoroughly inappropriate. I have also seen far too many fencers who salute the opponent then treat them with contempt. Likewise I have trained in an environment where profanity was rife and no overt signs of respect were shown, but this (to all appearances) mob of ill-disciplined thugs looked out for one another and were far more considerate than in many classes where near-constant bowing was the norm.
It is worth noting that etiquette varies between arts and systems, and that many of the ‘traditions’ of the martial arts are actually quite recent inventions. The gi, worn in many martial arts, is supposedly the traditional uniform of the student since it is the garb of a Japanese peasant. But peasants did not learn to fight in feudal Japan; Samurai did, and Samurai did not wear peasant clothes. The decision to use a gi may well be a valid one, but it is made for reasons relevant to the modern world rather than some sacred ancient tradition.
Likewise the black jacket adopted by many fencing instructors is quite a modern concept, so ‘traditions’ surrounding who wears one and who may not are based on what that fencing group feels to be appropriate rather than historical precedent dating back to the days of the great rapier masters. This is entirely acceptable of course. A group or organisation can set whatever rules its members consider necessary, but it must be remembered that this is a local decision and others may have a different opinion. That opinion is equally valid since there is no ancient code of conduct governing all such matters.
This does create something of a quandary when people from different groups or styles meet. Whilst teaching multi-styles seminars I have been addressed by titles I do not use and certainly do not deserve, by people who were of course being entirely respectful. There is also the question of whether to return the bow of a student (my class does not use the Japanese style bow) or not. On the one hand it might seem respectful to do so; on the other it can lead to someone else’s etiquette being forced upon a group that prefers not to use it.
Rank insignia pose a similar problem to titles. Should I object to a 4th Dan in Taekwondo wearing his black belt whilst I am teaching him something he knows nothing whatsoever about on a multi-styles seminar? Should I point out that I do not want to be addressed as Sensei, Master, Guro, Maestro, Maestre, or whatever other honorifics are on offer because my group does not use those titles? Am I being rude by doing so, and am I failing to be true to my own principles if I permit it?
All of these questions are, in my opinion, at least adequately answered by a little common sense. The 4th Dan TKD instructor who brings his students to a seminar on modern street combat has no rank in it, but he is still a highly accomplished martial artist and an instructor in his own right… and so is worthy of my respect. The sport-fencing instructor who wants to learn smallsword is still a national-standard coach while she’s learning historical swordsmanship from me. It makes sense to treat these people as well-respected peers – providing of course the respect is mutual.
I am not going to force a highly accomplished instructor to dress as a beginner while I’m teaching them, and I will respect their accomplishments and their rank even if they are in a system I do not rate highly. In return I expect them to treat me with the respect appropriate to the person teaching them at that moment – that’s not bows and salutes; it’s more practical actions like listening to what I’m saying and not pointlessly arguing with me or derailing my class.
One other thing that is – in my opinion – worthy of the highest respect is the fact that an instructor is willing to be a student in someone else’s class. So many are not, for various reasons, and for someone who is used to being an authority on a given subject to subordinate themselves for a while, or to become once again a beginner, is not easy. This requires a certain degree of moral courage, which is to be respected.
In other words, when I’m teaching other instructors I treat them and their achievements with respect and in return I expect them to behave like good students for the duration of the class. What everyone is wearing and what titles are being used (i.e. rituals and trappings) are vastly less important than the reality of mutual respect.
The forms of respect are important, of course, not least since omitting them can be seen as disrespectful. However, there must be more to it than merely going through the motions. And respect is of course a two-way street; it is hypocritical for an instructor to demand subservience towards himself (or herself) and senior grades but to treat lower-graded students poorly in return.
This is important for many reasons. I am strongly opposed to subdivision, and to an us-and-them attitude within what is really quite a small niche activity. It is particularly sad to see individuals who will never again take a class once they have qualified as an instructor, but in many cases this is understandable. Some instructors take the rather curious attitude that anyone who has taken a class with them is forever subordinate or are rude and disparaging about other people’s arts, styles or interpretations.
This is hardly encouraging to those who might otherwise benefit from a different perspective or enjoy learning something new. There is nothing that can be done for those whose ego precludes taking a class once they have qualified, or those whose field of interest is sufficiently narrow that anything outside it is seen as irrelevant… but we can at least avoid discouraging those who might otherwise be willing to learn from other instructors.
There are many good reasons for behaving respectfully towards those who teach or have trained extensively in other styles. Top of the list is what can be described as not being a jerk. Certain organisations take the attitude that ‘everyone else teaches nothing but nonsense’ or ‘we have the best of everything; everyone else is inferior’ and never seem to tire of stating this. It is possible that these people might even be right, but all the same they come over – at best – as tiresome and rude.
It is worth remembering a few points when interacting in any way with other martial artists. Someone who has invested a lot of time becoming good at something will resent being told that it is inferior. You may be entirely convinced that a given art or system is, indeed, utter nonsense but being disrespectful to someone who has trained in it or teaches it is hurtful for no good reason.
Even the most ‘worthless’ martial art or combat system is a difficult physical endeavour and learning it requires work and discipline. By way of example, I do not ‘get’ non-contact point-fighting but I recognise that it is highly skilled and learning to do it well is a worthy athletic endeavour in its own right. More importantly, being disrespectful about that art or system means being disrespectful about its practitioners – especially if they are proud of their achievements in that field. Being rude about something an individual has invested a lot of time in is the same as being rude directly to them.
Small wonder, then, that many instructors will not learn from one another. A slight change in behaviour and an understanding of mutual respect – rather than just insisting on the forms and rituals of etiquette – can go a long way towards increasing the willingness of instructors to learn from one another and for students to try something new. This is highly beneficial for all concerned, and for the martial arts community as a whole.
So, I may not particularly rate Austrian Ale-Pot Hurling as a fighting system, and I am willing to discuss – politely, and with reference to my own observations rather than preconceptions – why I do not feel it holds up particularly well in tournament or self-defence situations. However, I am mindful of the fact that it takes a lot of time and effort to master, and that should always be respected.
Besides, the Austrian Ale-Pot Hurler who’s come to my smallsword class is a human being too, and since courtesy and respect are a two-way street I need to offer both as well as demanding them. Starting my class with the declaration that Austrian Ale-Pot Hurling is nonsense adds nothing to what I am teaching and is needlessly disrespectful to the new student. I would also be a hypocrite for expecting the student to show respect towards me if I started out with an insult.
Facetious examples aside, my experience in just over 30 years of martial arts teaching and training is that mutual respect has significant benefits in terms of breaking down barriers and creating a cooperative environment. None of us has all the answers, and none of us is so good at everything that we are always the master. And even if we were, it is still worth being polite. It may even be in our best interests.
Students who feel they are being treated with disrespect tend to drift away. Fellow instructors who are on the receiving end of condescension and rudeness will not help one another out and will certainly not take a class with the offender. By way of example, when the University of Sunderland fencing club finally folded (I had taught there for 20 years, and it was a well-established club when I arrived) I needed a new place to fence. There was a class literally just around the corner from my home, but instead I preferred a 30 minute drive each way to a more expensive salle.
This was purely due to the condescending, arrogant and overbearing (i.e. highly disrespectful) attitude of the instructor at my local class. Upon recently discovering that he does not teach there any more, I joined it immediately.
This individual’s attitude did not just lose him one potential class member. None of my current or former students will have anything to do with him, either. Perhaps he feels his attitude is warranted for some reason, but those of us who he insists on talking down to (and as an aside, I was a qualified coach ten years before this individual took up the sport!) tend to disagree. He has lost potential class members and assistance from highly experienced people, and probably does not even understand why.
We can all learn from this, I feel. The effort required to be respectful to students and to avoid making insulting remarks about whatever they have done in the past or are doing elsewhere is not great. The benefits to us as instructors and to the martial arts/historical fencing community may not be all that obvious, but my experience tells me they are very real.
By making a point of being respectful of what others have done in the past, and of them as individuals, we are not being subservient or anything like that. Those of an insecure disposition might feel the need to constantly put down other systems and coaches, but a successful instructor should be sufficiently confident in their own merits and those of the system they teach that comparisons are unnecessary.
There is simply no need to constantly declare that your system or interpretation is better than anyone else’s. If it really is, that will be apparent. If not, saying so kind of makes you a bit of a liar. There is no need to tell new students that whatever they have done before is rubbish – if it’s true then that will surely become apparent without alienating them.
It seems to be worth stepping back for a moment from the habits and rituals of etiquette and considering how we treat people more generally. I make no mention of racism, sexism and other prejudice here because no instructor should be behaving that way, but there is more to creating an atmosphere of respect in a class than avoiding certain words and enforcing a code of etiquette. We need to offer respect in order to receive it, and to remember that anyone asking to be taught is voluntarily subordinating themselves for the duration of the class… and no more than that.
It is reasonable to ask students to act a certain way and to accept the authority of the instructor in the class, but let us never forget that they do so voluntarily. Both students and fellow instructors are far more likely to be willing to take our classes if we respect them and their achievements. It is not always possible to know why a student did not come back to the class, but it stands to reason that retention will be better if we are not alienating people without realising it.
Besides, there’s a lot to be said for not being a jerk.
And now, the obligatory plug….
For an examination of fight psychology and a nice collection of unarmed combat techniques (and what makes them work) we have Fight to Win
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fight-Win-Simple-Techniques-That/dp/080484268X/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1464106571&sr=1-4&keywords=fight+to+win
For a brief examination of European swords and swordsmanship, we have Cut and Thrust
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cut-Thrust-European-Swords-Swordsmanship/dp/1445639661?ie=UTF8&keywords=cut%20and%20thrust%20amberley&qid=1411981247&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1
For a guide to putting holes in people with a smallsword, we have A Modern Manual of Smallsword Fencing
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Modern-Manual-Smallsword-Fencing-ebook/dp/B00TIWMIYM?ie=UTF8&ref_=zg_bs_362862031_47
And drawing upon my 27 years of coaching experience we have The Historical Fencing Master’s Companion
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fencing-Masters-Companion-Teaching-Historical-ebook/dp/B016PYNFRY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1464106654&sr=1-1&keywords=fencing+masters+companion
I have personally witnessed an individual taking an excessive time over bowing onto the mats ‘just so’ before behaving in a manner that can only be described as bullying and thoroughly inappropriate. I have also seen far too many fencers who salute the opponent then treat them with contempt. Likewise I have trained in an environment where profanity was rife and no overt signs of respect were shown, but this (to all appearances) mob of ill-disciplined thugs looked out for one another and were far more considerate than in many classes where near-constant bowing was the norm.
It is worth noting that etiquette varies between arts and systems, and that many of the ‘traditions’ of the martial arts are actually quite recent inventions. The gi, worn in many martial arts, is supposedly the traditional uniform of the student since it is the garb of a Japanese peasant. But peasants did not learn to fight in feudal Japan; Samurai did, and Samurai did not wear peasant clothes. The decision to use a gi may well be a valid one, but it is made for reasons relevant to the modern world rather than some sacred ancient tradition.
Likewise the black jacket adopted by many fencing instructors is quite a modern concept, so ‘traditions’ surrounding who wears one and who may not are based on what that fencing group feels to be appropriate rather than historical precedent dating back to the days of the great rapier masters. This is entirely acceptable of course. A group or organisation can set whatever rules its members consider necessary, but it must be remembered that this is a local decision and others may have a different opinion. That opinion is equally valid since there is no ancient code of conduct governing all such matters.
This does create something of a quandary when people from different groups or styles meet. Whilst teaching multi-styles seminars I have been addressed by titles I do not use and certainly do not deserve, by people who were of course being entirely respectful. There is also the question of whether to return the bow of a student (my class does not use the Japanese style bow) or not. On the one hand it might seem respectful to do so; on the other it can lead to someone else’s etiquette being forced upon a group that prefers not to use it.
Rank insignia pose a similar problem to titles. Should I object to a 4th Dan in Taekwondo wearing his black belt whilst I am teaching him something he knows nothing whatsoever about on a multi-styles seminar? Should I point out that I do not want to be addressed as Sensei, Master, Guro, Maestro, Maestre, or whatever other honorifics are on offer because my group does not use those titles? Am I being rude by doing so, and am I failing to be true to my own principles if I permit it?
All of these questions are, in my opinion, at least adequately answered by a little common sense. The 4th Dan TKD instructor who brings his students to a seminar on modern street combat has no rank in it, but he is still a highly accomplished martial artist and an instructor in his own right… and so is worthy of my respect. The sport-fencing instructor who wants to learn smallsword is still a national-standard coach while she’s learning historical swordsmanship from me. It makes sense to treat these people as well-respected peers – providing of course the respect is mutual.
I am not going to force a highly accomplished instructor to dress as a beginner while I’m teaching them, and I will respect their accomplishments and their rank even if they are in a system I do not rate highly. In return I expect them to treat me with the respect appropriate to the person teaching them at that moment – that’s not bows and salutes; it’s more practical actions like listening to what I’m saying and not pointlessly arguing with me or derailing my class.
One other thing that is – in my opinion – worthy of the highest respect is the fact that an instructor is willing to be a student in someone else’s class. So many are not, for various reasons, and for someone who is used to being an authority on a given subject to subordinate themselves for a while, or to become once again a beginner, is not easy. This requires a certain degree of moral courage, which is to be respected.
In other words, when I’m teaching other instructors I treat them and their achievements with respect and in return I expect them to behave like good students for the duration of the class. What everyone is wearing and what titles are being used (i.e. rituals and trappings) are vastly less important than the reality of mutual respect.
The forms of respect are important, of course, not least since omitting them can be seen as disrespectful. However, there must be more to it than merely going through the motions. And respect is of course a two-way street; it is hypocritical for an instructor to demand subservience towards himself (or herself) and senior grades but to treat lower-graded students poorly in return.
This is important for many reasons. I am strongly opposed to subdivision, and to an us-and-them attitude within what is really quite a small niche activity. It is particularly sad to see individuals who will never again take a class once they have qualified as an instructor, but in many cases this is understandable. Some instructors take the rather curious attitude that anyone who has taken a class with them is forever subordinate or are rude and disparaging about other people’s arts, styles or interpretations.
This is hardly encouraging to those who might otherwise benefit from a different perspective or enjoy learning something new. There is nothing that can be done for those whose ego precludes taking a class once they have qualified, or those whose field of interest is sufficiently narrow that anything outside it is seen as irrelevant… but we can at least avoid discouraging those who might otherwise be willing to learn from other instructors.
There are many good reasons for behaving respectfully towards those who teach or have trained extensively in other styles. Top of the list is what can be described as not being a jerk. Certain organisations take the attitude that ‘everyone else teaches nothing but nonsense’ or ‘we have the best of everything; everyone else is inferior’ and never seem to tire of stating this. It is possible that these people might even be right, but all the same they come over – at best – as tiresome and rude.
It is worth remembering a few points when interacting in any way with other martial artists. Someone who has invested a lot of time becoming good at something will resent being told that it is inferior. You may be entirely convinced that a given art or system is, indeed, utter nonsense but being disrespectful to someone who has trained in it or teaches it is hurtful for no good reason.
Even the most ‘worthless’ martial art or combat system is a difficult physical endeavour and learning it requires work and discipline. By way of example, I do not ‘get’ non-contact point-fighting but I recognise that it is highly skilled and learning to do it well is a worthy athletic endeavour in its own right. More importantly, being disrespectful about that art or system means being disrespectful about its practitioners – especially if they are proud of their achievements in that field. Being rude about something an individual has invested a lot of time in is the same as being rude directly to them.
Small wonder, then, that many instructors will not learn from one another. A slight change in behaviour and an understanding of mutual respect – rather than just insisting on the forms and rituals of etiquette – can go a long way towards increasing the willingness of instructors to learn from one another and for students to try something new. This is highly beneficial for all concerned, and for the martial arts community as a whole.
So, I may not particularly rate Austrian Ale-Pot Hurling as a fighting system, and I am willing to discuss – politely, and with reference to my own observations rather than preconceptions – why I do not feel it holds up particularly well in tournament or self-defence situations. However, I am mindful of the fact that it takes a lot of time and effort to master, and that should always be respected.
Besides, the Austrian Ale-Pot Hurler who’s come to my smallsword class is a human being too, and since courtesy and respect are a two-way street I need to offer both as well as demanding them. Starting my class with the declaration that Austrian Ale-Pot Hurling is nonsense adds nothing to what I am teaching and is needlessly disrespectful to the new student. I would also be a hypocrite for expecting the student to show respect towards me if I started out with an insult.
Facetious examples aside, my experience in just over 30 years of martial arts teaching and training is that mutual respect has significant benefits in terms of breaking down barriers and creating a cooperative environment. None of us has all the answers, and none of us is so good at everything that we are always the master. And even if we were, it is still worth being polite. It may even be in our best interests.
Students who feel they are being treated with disrespect tend to drift away. Fellow instructors who are on the receiving end of condescension and rudeness will not help one another out and will certainly not take a class with the offender. By way of example, when the University of Sunderland fencing club finally folded (I had taught there for 20 years, and it was a well-established club when I arrived) I needed a new place to fence. There was a class literally just around the corner from my home, but instead I preferred a 30 minute drive each way to a more expensive salle.
This was purely due to the condescending, arrogant and overbearing (i.e. highly disrespectful) attitude of the instructor at my local class. Upon recently discovering that he does not teach there any more, I joined it immediately.
This individual’s attitude did not just lose him one potential class member. None of my current or former students will have anything to do with him, either. Perhaps he feels his attitude is warranted for some reason, but those of us who he insists on talking down to (and as an aside, I was a qualified coach ten years before this individual took up the sport!) tend to disagree. He has lost potential class members and assistance from highly experienced people, and probably does not even understand why.
We can all learn from this, I feel. The effort required to be respectful to students and to avoid making insulting remarks about whatever they have done in the past or are doing elsewhere is not great. The benefits to us as instructors and to the martial arts/historical fencing community may not be all that obvious, but my experience tells me they are very real.
By making a point of being respectful of what others have done in the past, and of them as individuals, we are not being subservient or anything like that. Those of an insecure disposition might feel the need to constantly put down other systems and coaches, but a successful instructor should be sufficiently confident in their own merits and those of the system they teach that comparisons are unnecessary.
There is simply no need to constantly declare that your system or interpretation is better than anyone else’s. If it really is, that will be apparent. If not, saying so kind of makes you a bit of a liar. There is no need to tell new students that whatever they have done before is rubbish – if it’s true then that will surely become apparent without alienating them.
It seems to be worth stepping back for a moment from the habits and rituals of etiquette and considering how we treat people more generally. I make no mention of racism, sexism and other prejudice here because no instructor should be behaving that way, but there is more to creating an atmosphere of respect in a class than avoiding certain words and enforcing a code of etiquette. We need to offer respect in order to receive it, and to remember that anyone asking to be taught is voluntarily subordinating themselves for the duration of the class… and no more than that.
It is reasonable to ask students to act a certain way and to accept the authority of the instructor in the class, but let us never forget that they do so voluntarily. Both students and fellow instructors are far more likely to be willing to take our classes if we respect them and their achievements. It is not always possible to know why a student did not come back to the class, but it stands to reason that retention will be better if we are not alienating people without realising it.
Besides, there’s a lot to be said for not being a jerk.
And now, the obligatory plug….
For an examination of fight psychology and a nice collection of unarmed combat techniques (and what makes them work) we have Fight to Win
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fight-Win-Simple-Techniques-That/dp/080484268X/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1464106571&sr=1-4&keywords=fight+to+win
For a brief examination of European swords and swordsmanship, we have Cut and Thrust
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cut-Thrust-European-Swords-Swordsmanship/dp/1445639661?ie=UTF8&keywords=cut%20and%20thrust%20amberley&qid=1411981247&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1
For a guide to putting holes in people with a smallsword, we have A Modern Manual of Smallsword Fencing
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Modern-Manual-Smallsword-Fencing-ebook/dp/B00TIWMIYM?ie=UTF8&ref_=zg_bs_362862031_47
And drawing upon my 27 years of coaching experience we have The Historical Fencing Master’s Companion
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fencing-Masters-Companion-Teaching-Historical-ebook/dp/B016PYNFRY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1464106654&sr=1-1&keywords=fencing+masters+companion
